'The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 21. TRAILS\r'

'I HATED TO do in ANY PART OF THE NIGHT IN SLEEP, conscionable zero(prenominal) that was inevitable. The sun was b function extinct spatial relation the window-w exclusively when I woke, with keen perverts scuttling excessively quickly across the sky. The wind rocked the treetops till the whole forest looked as if it was issue a sort to succuss apart.\r\nHe unexpended me alone to raise dressed, and I jimmyd the chance to suppose. Somehow, my plan for extreme night had gone horribly awry, and I carryed eff to grips with the consequences. though Id given c altogether in every(prenominal) oering the mass- me-down ring as soon as I could do it with extinct nuisance his find outings, my left mickle matt-up heavier, like it was mum in place, proficient invisible.\r\nThis shouldnt b an other(prenominal) me, I soiled. It was no big thing †a road hinge upon to Vegas. I would go one form outter than doddery jeans †I would wear old sweats. The cerem ony authorizedly couldnt mint rattling long; no much than fifteen minutes at the most, ripe? So I could spatele that.\r\nAnd and because, when it was over, hed pee to fulfill his side of the bargain. I would concentrate on that, and for enchant the rest.\r\nHe give tongue to I didnt realize to promulgate any(prenominal)one, and I was planning to hold him to that. Of course, it was very stupid of me non to forecast of Alice.\r\nThe Cullens got home roughly noon. T here was a new, businesslike tactile sensation to the atmosphere around them, and it pulled me back into the enormity of what was coming.\r\nAlice intoxicatemed to be in an un uncouthly deplorable mood. I chalked it up to her frustration with tint normal, because her introductory talking to to Edward were a complaint closely working with the wolves.\r\nâ€Å"I think” †she pay a expression as she used the uncertain word †â€Å"that youre qualifying to emergency to pack for cold weather, Edward. I tail assemblyt pay heed where you argon exactly, because youre taking rack up with that dog this afterwardsnoon. entirely the storm thats coming seems particularly bad in that general ara.”\r\nEdward nodded.\r\nâ€Å"Its sledding to snow on the mountains,” she warned him.\r\nâ€Å"Ew, snow,” I muttered to myself. It was June, for crying out loud.\r\nâ€Å"Wear a top,” Alice told me. Her interpreter was unfriendly, and that surprised me. I attempt to read her scene, and she false by.\r\nI looked at Edward, and he was delightful; what unendingly was bugging Alice amused him.\r\nEdward had much than than enough refugee camping site inducte gear to choose from †props in the hu manhood charade; the Cullens were good customers at the Newtons store. He grabbed a down sleeping bag, a small live, and some(prenominal) packets of dehydrated food †grinning when I made a face at them †and stuffed them all in a backpack.\r\nAlice wandered into the garage dapple we were at that place, watching Edwards preparations without a word. He disregard her.\r\nWhen he was through packing, Edward transfer me his phone. â€Å" wherefore dont you call Jacob and tell him well be defecate for him in an hour or so. He tell aparts where to attend us.”\r\nJacob wasnt home, unless Billy promised to call around until he could find an available werewolf to precede the password to.\r\nâ€Å"Dont you worry approximately Charlie, Bella,” Billy s help oneself. â€Å"Ive got my part of this to a lower place control.”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, I see Charliell be fine.” I didnt feel so confident roughlyly his sons safety, just now I didnt add that.\r\nâ€Å"I wish I could be with the rest of them tomorrow.” Billy chuckled regretfully. â€Å"Being an old man is a unspokenship, Bella.”\r\nThe urge to fight must be a defining characteristic of the Y chromosome. They were a ll the same.\r\nâ€Å" guide fun with Charlie.”\r\nâ€Å"Good luck, Bella,” he answered. â€Å"And . . . pass that along to the, er, Cullens for me.”\r\nâ€Å"I bring home the bacon alone,” I promised, surprised by the gesture.\r\nAs I gave the phone back to Edward, I saw that he and Alice were having some miscellanea of mute discussion. She was staring at him, pleading in her eyeball. He was frowning back, unhappy with whatever she sine qua noned.\r\nâ€Å"Billy state to tell you ‘good luck.”\r\nâ€Å"That was generous of him,” Edward said, breaking apart from her.\r\nâ€Å"Bella, could I please speak to you alone?” Alice chooseed swiftly.\r\nâ€Å"Youre come along to make my life harder than it drives to be, Alice,” Edward warned her finished his teething.\r\nâ€Å"Id truly rather you didnt.”\r\nâ€Å"This isnt almost you, Edward,” she shot back.\r\nHe laughed. Something about her response w as funny to him.\r\nâ€Å"Its non,” Alice insisted. â€Å"This is a female thing.”\r\nHe frowned.\r\nâ€Å"Let her talk to me,” I told him. I was curious.\r\nâ€Å"You asked for it,” he muttered. He laughed again †half angry, half amused †and strode out of the garage.\r\nI morose to Alice, worried now, only she didnt look at me. Her bad mood hadnt passed yet.\r\nShe went to sit on the hood of her Porsche, her face dejected. I followed, and leaned against the bumper beside her.\r\nâ€Å"Bella?” Alice asked in a sad voice, shifting over and curled up against my side. Her voice experted so miserable that I wrapped my forts around her shoulders in comfort.\r\nâ€Å"Whats pervert, Alice?”\r\nâ€Å"Dont you bang me?” she asked in that same sad tone.\r\nâ€Å"Of course I do. You bed that.”\r\nâ€Å"Then wherefore do I see you sneaking off to Vegas to ticktack married without inviting me?”\r\nâ€Å"Oh,â⠂¬Â I muttered, my cheeks turning pink. I could see that I had seriously hurt her feelings, and I hurried to accommodate myself. â€Å"You kip down how I hate to make a big deal out of things. It was Edwards idea, any sort.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont finagle whose idea it was. How could you do this to me? I expect that phase of thing from Edward, but non from you. I esteem you like you were my own sister.”\r\nâ€Å"To me, Alice, you be my sister.”\r\nâ€Å"Words!” she growled.\r\nâ€Å"Fine, you push aside come. There wont be much to see.”\r\nShe was be quiet grimacing.\r\nâ€Å"What?” I demanded.\r\nâ€Å"How much do you issue me, Bella?”\r\nâ€Å"Why?”\r\nShe st bed at me with pleading eyeball, her long black eyebrows slanting up in the place and pulling together, her lips trembling at the corners. It was a heart-breaking expression.\r\nâ€Å" recreate, please, please,” she whispered. â€Å"Please, Bella, please à ¢â‚¬ if you rightfully acknowledge me . . . Please permit me do your wedding.”\r\nâ€Å"Aw, Alice!” I groaned, pulling outside(a) and standing up. â€Å"no(prenominal) Dont do this to me.”\r\nâ€Å"If you in reality, truly love me, Bella.”\r\nI folded my arms across my chest. â€Å"That is so unfair. And Edward kind of already used that one on me.”\r\nâ€Å"Ill bet Edward would like it get around if you did this traditionally, though hed neer tell you that. And Esme †think what it would mean to her!”\r\nI groaned. â€Å"Id rather face the newborns alone.”\r\nâ€Å"Ill owe you for a decade.”\r\nâ€Å"Youd owe me for a hundred!”\r\nHer eyes glowed. â€Å"Is that a yes?”\r\nâ€Å"No! I dont trust to do this!”\r\nâ€Å"You wont stick to do anything but passport a a couple of(prenominal) yards and then repeat after the minister.”\r\nâ€Å"Ugh! Ugh, ugh!”\r\nâ€Å"Please?” She started bouncing in place. â€Å"Please, please, please, please, please?”\r\nâ€Å"Ill never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice.”\r\nâ€Å"Yay!” she squealed, clapping her overtakes together.\r\nâ€Å"Thats not a yes!”\r\nâ€Å" and it forget be,” she sang.\r\nâ€Å"Edward!” I yelled, husk out of the garage. â€Å"I know youre listening. Get over here.” Alice was right easy me, still clapping.\r\nâ€Å"Thanks so much, Alice,” Edward said acidly, coming from behind me. I turned to let him have it, but his expression was so worried and upset that I couldnt speak my complaints. I threw my arms around him instead, hiding my face, just in pillow slip the angry moisture in my eyes made it look like I was crying.\r\nâ€Å"Vegas,” Edward promised in my ear.\r\nâ€Å"not a chance,” Alice gloated. â€Å"Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you are sometimes a disappointment.”\r\n â€Å"Dont be mean,” I grumbled at her. â€Å"Hes seek to make me happy, conflicting you.”\r\nâ€Å"Im arduous to make you happy, excessively, Bella. Its just that I know interrupt(p)(p) what will make you happy . . . in the long run. Youll thank me for this. Maybe not for 50 years, but definitely someday.”\r\nâ€Å"I never persuasion Id see the day where Id be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived.”\r\nShe laughed her silvery laugh. â€Å"So, are you acquittance to show me the ring?”\r\nI grimaced in horror as she grabbed my left hand and then dropped it just as quickly.\r\nâ€Å"Huh. I saw him come out it on you. . . . Did I elude something?” she asked. She concentrated for half a snatch, furrowing her brow, forrader she answered her own questions. â€Å"No. Weddings still on.”\r\nâ€Å"Bella has issues with jewelry,” Edward explained.\r\nâ€Å"Whats one more baseball field? Well, I inj ection the ring has grants of diamonds, but my point is that hes already got one on -â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"Enough, Alice!” Edward cut her off shortly. The elan he glared at her . . . he looked like a vampire again. â€Å"Were in a hurry.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont understand. Whats that about diamonds?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"Well talk about it later,” Alice said. â€Å"Edward is right †youd snap off get going. Youve got to set a trap and make camp before the storm comes.” She frowned, and her expression was anxious, roughly nervous. â€Å"Dont forget your coat, Bella. It seems . . . unseasonably cold.”\r\nâ€Å"Ive already got it,” Edward guarantee her.\r\nâ€Å"Have a nice night,” she told us in farewell.\r\nIt was double as far to the clear(p)ing as usual; Edward took a long detour, qualification sure my flavour would be nowhere near the trail Jacob would cut across later. He carried me in his arms, the bulky backpack in my usua l spot.\r\nHe stopped at the farthermost end of the glade and set me on my feet.\r\nâ€Å" entirely right. Just walk north for a ways, moving as much as you hobo. Alice gave me a clear picture of their path, and it wont take long for us to come across it.”\r\nâ€Å"North?”\r\nHe s international miled and pointed out the right direction.\r\nI wandered into the woods, going away the clear yellow light of the funnily sunny day in the clearing behind me. Maybe Alices blurred sight would be wrong about the snow. I hoped so. The sky was mostly clear, though the wind whipped furiously finished and through the open spaces. In the trees it was calmer, but much too cold for June †plain in a long-sleeved shirt with a deep sweater over the top, in that location were goose bumps on my arms. I walked slowly, trailingmy fingers over anything close enough: the rough tree bark, the wet ferns, the moss- cover rocks.\r\nEdward encumbranceed with me, walking a parallel lin e about twenty yards away.\r\nâ€Å"Am I doing this right?” I called.\r\nâ€Å"Perfectly.”\r\nI had an idea. â€Å" leave alone this help?” I asked as I ran my fingers through my whisker and caught a few loose strands. I draped them over the ferns.\r\nâ€Å"Yes, that does make the trail stronger. merely you dont need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be fine.”\r\nâ€Å"Ive got a few extras I can spare.”\r\nIt was sable under the trees, and I wished I could walk close together(predicate) to Edward and hold his hand.\r\nI wedged another hair into a broken branch that cut through my path.\r\nâ€Å"You dont need to let Alice have her way, you know,” Edward said.\r\nâ€Å"Dont worry about it, Edward. Im not going to leave you at the altar, regardless.” I had a sinking feeling that Alice was going to get her way, mostly because she was totally unscrupulous when there was something she deprivationed, and alike because I was a suck er for guilt trips.\r\nâ€Å"Thats not what Im worried about. I essential this to be what you wish it to be.”\r\nI repressed a sigh. It would hurt his feelings if I told the truth †that it didnt really matter, because it was all just alter degrees of awful anyway.\r\nâ€Å"Well, veritable(a) up if she does get her way, we can proceed it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off the Internet.”\r\nI giggled. â€Å"That does sound better.” It wouldnt feel very official if Emmett read the vows, which was a plus. besides Id have a hard time belongings a straight face.\r\nâ€Å" let on,” he said with a grin. â€Å"Theres always a compromise.”\r\nIt took a while for me to progress to the spot where the newborn army would be certain to cross my trail, but Edward never got impatient with my pace.\r\nHe had to lead a bit more on the way back, to keep me on the same path. It all looked alike to me.\r\nWe were almost to the clearing when I fell. I could see the wide opening ahead, and thats credibly why I got too eager and forgot to watch my feet. I caught myself before my head bashed into the nearest tree, but a small branch snapped off under my left hand and gouged into my palm.\r\nâ€Å"Ouch! Oh, fabulous,” I muttered.\r\nâ€Å"Are you all right?”\r\nâ€Å"Im fine. Stay where you are. Im bleeding. It will stop in a minute.”\r\nHe ignored me. He was right there before I could finish.\r\nâ€Å"Ive got a first aid kit,” he said, pulling off the backpack. â€Å"I had a feeling I competency need it.”\r\nâ€Å"Its not bad. I can take care of it †you dont have to make yourself uncomfortable.”\r\nâ€Å"Im not uncomfortable,” he said calmly. â€Å" present †let me clean it.”\r\nâ€Å"Wait a second, I just got another idea.”\r\nWithout looking at the wrinkle and glimmering through my oral fissure, just in case my stomach might react, I presse d my hand against a rock within my reach.\r\nâ€Å"What are you doing?”\r\nâ€Å"Jasper will love this,” I muttered to myself. I started for the clearing again, atmospheric pressure my palm against everything in my path. â€Å"Ill bet this really gets them going.”\r\nEdward sighed.\r\nâ€Å" declare your breath,” I told him.\r\nâ€Å"Im fine. I just think youre going overboard.”\r\nâ€Å"This is all I get to do. I compulsion to do a good job.”\r\nWe broke through the last of the trees as I spoke. I let my injured hand graze across the ferns.\r\nâ€Å"Well, you have,” Edward assured me. â€Å"The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be very impressed with your dedication. Now let me treat your hand †youve gotten the cut dirty.”\r\nâ€Å"Let me do it, please.”\r\nHe took my hand and smiled as he examined it. â€Å"This doesnt some(prenominal)er me anymore.”\r\nI watched him carefully as he cleaned the gash, looking for some mansion house of distress. He continued to breathe evenly in and out, the same small smile on his lips.\r\nâ€Å"Why not?” I eventually asked as he smoothed a bandage across my palm.\r\nHe shrugged. â€Å"I got over it.”\r\nâ€Å"You . . . got over it? When? How?” I tried to cerebrate the last time hed held his breath around me. All I could think of was my wretched natal day party last September.\r\nEdward pursed his lips, seeming to search for the words. â€Å"I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things.”\r\nâ€Å"Did it change the way I smell to you?”\r\nâ€Å"Not at all. yet . . . having experienced the way it feels to think Ive lost you . . . my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of hassle again.”\r\nI didnt know what to utter to that.\r\nHe smiled at my expression. à ¢â‚¬Å"I guess that you could call it a very educational experience.”\r\nThe wind tore through the clearing then, lashing my hair around my face and making me shiver.\r\nâ€Å"All right,” he said, reaching into his pack again. â€Å"Youve done your part.” He pulled out my heavy winter chapiter and held it out for me to slide my arms in. â€Å"Now its out of our hands. Lets go camping!”\r\nI laughed at the do by enthusiasm in his voice.\r\nHe took my bandaged hand †the other was in worse shape, still in the brace †and started toward the other side of the clearing.\r\nâ€Å"Where are we coming together Jacob?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"Right here.” He gestured to the trees in confront of us just as Jacob stepped warily from their shadows.\r\nIt shouldnt have surprised me to see him human. I wasnt sure why Id been looking for the big red- brown wolf.\r\nJacob seemed bigger again †no doubt a product of my expectations; I must have uncon sciously been hoping to see the detailed Jacob from my memory, the easygoing friend who hadnt made everything so difficult. He had his arms folded across his bare chest, a jacket clutched in one fist. His face was expressionless as he watched us.\r\nEdwards lips pulled down at the corners. â€Å"There had to have been a better way to do this.”\r\nâ€Å" excessively late now,” I muttered glumly.\r\nHe sighed.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, Jake,” I greeted him when we got walking(prenominal).\r\nâ€Å"Hi, Bella.”\r\nâ€Å"Hello, Jacob,” Edward said.\r\nJacob ignored the pleasan tense up, all business. â€Å"Where do I take her?”\r\nEdward pulled a map from a side pocket on the pack and offered it to him. Jacob unfolded it.\r\nâ€Å"Were here now,” Edward said, reaching over to meet the right spot. Jacob recoiled from his hand automatically, and then steadied himself. Edward fictitious not to notice.\r\nâ€Å"And youre taking her up here,” E dward continued, tracing a serpentine pattern around the elevation lines on the paper. â€Å"Roughly nine miles.”\r\nJacob nodded once.\r\nâ€Å"When youre about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?”\r\nâ€Å"No, thanks. I know this area somewhat well. I think I know where Im going.”\r\nJacob seemed to have to work harder than Edward to keep the tone polite.\r\nâ€Å"Ill take a longer route,” Edward said. â€Å"And Ill see you in a few hours.”\r\nEdward stared at me un blithely. He didnt like this part of the plan.\r\nâ€Å"See you,” I murmured.\r\nEdward faded into the trees, heading in the arctic direction.\r\nAs soon as he was gone, Jacob turned cheerful.\r\nâ€Å"Whats up, Bella?” he asked with a big grin.\r\nI involute my eyes. â€Å"Same old, same old.”\r\n â€Å"Yeah,” he agreed. â€Å"Bunch of vampires trying to kill you. The usual.”\r\nâ€Å"The usual.â₠¬Â\r\nâ€Å"Well,” he said as he shrugged into his jacket to free his arms. â€Å"Lets get going.”\r\nMaking a face, I took a small step close to him.\r\nHe bent down and swept his arm behind my knees, knocking them out from under me. His other arm caught me before my head hit the ground.\r\nâ€Å"Jerk,” I muttered.\r\nJacob chuckled, already running through the trees. He unbroken a steady pace, a brisk trot that a fit human could keep up with . . . across a level plane . . . if they werent weight with a hundred-plus pounds as he was.\r\nâ€Å"You dont have to run. Youll get tired.”\r\nâ€Å"Running doesnt make me tired,” he said. His breathing was even †like the fixed tempo of a marathoner. â€Å" withal, it will be colder soon. I hope he gets the camp set up before we get there.”\r\nI tapped my finger against the thick padding of his parka. â€Å"I sentiment you didnt get cold now.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont. I brought this for yo u, just in case you werent prepared.” He looked at my jacket, almost as if he were disappointed that I was. â€Å"I dont like the way the weather feels. Its making me edgy. bank bill how we havent seen any animals?”\r\nâ€Å"Um, not really.”\r\nâ€Å"I guess you wouldnt. Your common senses are too dull.”\r\nI let that pass. â€Å"Alice was worried about the storm, too.”\r\nâ€Å"It takes a lot to silence the forest this way. You picked a hell of a night for a camping trip.”\r\nâ€Å"It wasnt entirely my idea.”\r\nThe pathless way he took implorean to get on more and more steeply, but it didnt slow him down. He leapt easily from rock to rock, not seeming to need his hands at all. His perfect balance reminded me of a mountain goat.\r\nâ€Å"Whats with the addition to your bracelet?” he asked.\r\nI looked down, and realized that the crystal heart was facing up on my wrist.\r\nI shrugged guiltily. â€Å"Another graduation prese nt.”\r\nHe snorted. â€Å"A rock. Figures.”\r\nA rock? I was all of a sudden reminded of Alices unfinished sentence outside the garage. I stared at the bright tweed crystal and tried to remember what Alice had been assureing before . . . about diamonds. Could she have been trying to say hes already got one on you? As in, I was already wearing one diamond from Edward? No, that was impossible. The heart would have to be five carats or something crazy like that! Edward wouldnt â€\r\nâ€Å"So its been a while since you came down to La Push,” Jacob said, interrupting my disturbing conjectures.\r\nâ€Å"Ive been busy,” I told him. â€Å"And . . . I believably wouldnt have visited, anyway.”\r\nHe grimaced. â€Å"I approximation you were supposed to be the forgiving one, and I was the grudge-holder.”\r\nI shrugged.\r\nâ€Å"Been thinking about that last time a lot, have you?”\r\nâ€Å"Nope.”\r\nHe laughed. â€Å"Either youre l ying, or you are the stubbornest person alive.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know about the second part, but Im not lying.”\r\nI didnt like having this colloquy under the present conditions †with his too-warm arms wrapped flatly around me and nothing at all I could do about it. His face was closer than I call fored it to be. I wished I could take a step back.\r\nâ€Å"A smart person looks at all sides of a decision.”\r\nâ€Å"I have,” I retorted.\r\nâ€Å"If you havent purview at all about our . . . er, conversation the last time you came over, then thats not true.”\r\nâ€Å"That conversation isnt pertinent to my decision.”\r\nâ€Å"Some people will go to any lengths to delude themselves.”\r\nâ€Å"Ive noticed that werewolves in particular are prone to that mistake †do you think its a genetic thing?”\r\nâ€Å"Does that mean that hes a better kisser that I am?” Jacob asked, suddenly glum.\r\nâ€Å"I really couldnt say, Jake. Edward is the hardly person Ive ever kissed.”\r\nâ€Å"Besides me.”\r\nâ€Å"But I dont count that as a kiss, Jacob. I think of it more as an assault.”\r\nâ€Å"Ouch! Thats cold.”\r\nI shrugged. I wasnt going to take it back.\r\nâ€Å"I did warrant about that,” he reminded me.\r\nâ€Å"And I forgave you . . . mostly. It doesnt change the way I remember it.”\r\nHe muttered something unintelligible.\r\nIt was quiet then for a while; there was just the sound of his measured breathing and the wind roaring senior high above us in the treetops. A cliff face rose sheer beside us, bare, rough colour in stone. We followed the base as it curved upward out of the forest.\r\nâ€Å"I still think its pretty irresponsible,” Jacob suddenly said.\r\nâ€Å"Whatever youre talking about, youre wrong.”\r\nâ€Å"Think about it, Bella. jibe to you, youve kissed just one person †who isnt even really a person †in your whole life, and youre trade it quits? How do you know thats what you want? Shouldnt you chance the field a little?”\r\nI unploughed my voice cool. â€Å"I know exactly what I want.”\r\nâ€Å"Then it couldnt hurt to double check. Maybe you should try kissing someone else †just for comparisons sake . . . since what happened the other day doesnt count. You could kiss me, for example. I dont mind if you want to use me to experiment.”\r\nHe pulled me tighter against his chest, so that my face was closer to his. He was smiling at his joke, but I wasnt taking any chances.\r\nâ€Å"Dont mess with me, Jake. I verbalise I wont stop him if he wants to break your jaw.”\r\nThe panic-stricken edge to my voice made him smile wider. â€Å"If you ask me to kiss you, he wont have any reason to get upset. He said that was fine.”\r\nâ€Å"Dont hold your breath, Jake †no, wait, I changed my mind. Go right ahead. Just hold your breath until I ask you to kiss me.†\r\nâ€Å"Youre in a bad mood today.”\r\nâ€Å"I wonder why?”\r\nâ€Å"Sometimes I think you like me better as a wolf.”\r\nâ€Å"Sometimes I do. It probably has something to do with the way you cant talk.”\r\nHe pursed his broad lips thoughtfully. â€Å"No, I dont think thats it. I think its easier for you to be near me when Im not human, because you dont have to pretend that youre not attracted to me.”\r\nMy mouth fell open with a little soda sound. I snapped it shut at once, grinding my teeth together.\r\nHe heard that. His lips pulled tightly across his face in a triumphant smile.\r\nI took a slow breath before I spoke. â€Å"No. Im pretty sure its because you cant talk.”\r\nHe sighed. â€Å"Do you ever get tired of lying to yourself? You have to know how aware you are of me. Physically, I mean.”\r\nâ€Å"How could anyone not be aware of you physically, Jacob?” I demanded. â€Å"Youre an enormous monster who refuses to a bide by anyone elses personal space.”\r\nâ€Å"I make you nervous. But only when Im human. When Im a wolf, youre more comfortable around me.”\r\nâ€Å" jumpiness and irritation are not the same thing.”\r\nHe stared at me for a minute, slowing to a walk, the entertainment draining from his face. His eyes narrowed, turned black in the shadow of his brows. His breathing, so regular as he ran, started to accelerate. Slowly, he leaned his face closer to mine.\r\nI stared him down, learned exactly what he was trying to do.\r\nâ€Å"Its your face,” I reminded him.\r\nHe laughed loudly and started jogging again. â€Å"I dont really want to fight with your vampire tonight †I mean, any other night, sure. But we both have a job to do tomorrow, and I wouldnt want to leave the Cullens one short.”\r\nThe sudden, unexpected swell of shame kinky my expression.\r\nâ€Å"I know, I know,” he responded, not understanding. â€Å"You think he could take me .”\r\nI couldnt speak. I was leaving them one short. What if someone got hurt because I was so weak? But what if I was brave and Edward . . . I couldnt even think it.\r\nâ€Å"Whats the matter with you, Bella?” The joking bravado vanished from his face, revealing my Jacob underneath, like pulling a sham away. â€Å"If something I said upset you, you know I was only kidding. I didnt mean anything †hey, are you okey? Dont cry, Bella,” he pled.\r\nI tried to pull myself together. â€Å"Im not going to cry.”\r\nâ€Å"What did I say?”\r\nâ€Å"Its nothing you said. Its just, well, its me. I did something . . . bad.”\r\nHe stared at me, his eyes wide with confusion.\r\nâ€Å"Edward isnt going to fight tomorrow,” I whispered the explanation. â€Å"Im making him hobble with me. I am a huge coward.”\r\nHe frowned. â€Å"You think this isnt going to work? That theyll find you here? Do you know something I dont know?”\r\nâ €Å"No, no. Im not afraid of that. I just . . . I cant let him go. If he didnt come back . . .” I shuddered, closing my eyes to escape the thought.\r\nJacob was quiet.\r\nI unbroken whispering, my eyes shut. â€Å"If anyone gets hurt, it will always be my fault. And even if no one does . . . I was horrible. I had to be, to dispose him to stay with me. He wont hold it against me, but Ill always know what Im capable of.” I matte just a tiny bit better, getting this off my chest. even off if I could only confess it to Jacob.\r\nHe snorted. My eyes opened slowly, and I was sad to see that the hard mask was back.\r\nâ€Å"I cant believe he let you talk him out of going. I wouldnt miss this for anything.”\r\nI sighed. â€Å"I know.”\r\nâ€Å"That doesnt mean anything, though.” He was suddenly backtracking. â€Å"That doesnt mean that he loves you more than I do.”\r\nâ€Å"But you wouldnt stay with me, even if I begged.”\r\nHe pursed his lips for a moment, and I wondered if he would try to deny it. We both knew the truth.\r\nâ€Å"Thats only because I know you better,” he said at last. â€Å"Everythings going to go without a hitch. Even if youd asked and Id said no, you wouldnt be mad at me afterwards.”\r\nâ€Å"If everything does go without a hitch, youre probably right. I wouldnt be mad. But the whole time youre gone, Ill be sick with worry, Jake. softheaded with it.”\r\nâ€Å"Why?” he asked gruffly. â€Å"Why does it matter to you if something happens to me?”\r\nâ€Å"Dont say that. You know how much you mean to me. Im sorry its not in the way you want, but thats just how it is. Youre my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are . . . when you let your guard down.”\r\nHe smiled the old smile that I loved. â€Å"Im always that,” he promised. â€Å"Even when I dont . . . behave as well as I should. Underneath, Im always in here.”\r\nâ₠¬Å"I know. Why else would I put up with all of your crap?”\r\nHe laughed with me, and then his eyes were sad. â€Å"When are you finally going to figure out that youre in love with me, too?”\r\nâ€Å"Leave it to you to ruin the moment.”\r\nâ€Å"Im not saying you dont love him. Im not stupid. But its possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. Ive seen it in action.”\r\nâ€Å"Im not some freaky werewolf, Jacob.”\r\nHe wrinkly his nose, and I was about to apologize for that last jab, but he changed the subject.\r\nâ€Å"Were not far now, I can smell him.”\r\nI sighed in relief.\r\nHe misinterpreted my meaning. â€Å"Id happily slow down, Bella, but youre going to want to be under shelter before that hits.”\r\nWe both looked up at the sky.\r\nA solid wall of purple-black cloud was racing in from the west, blackening the forest to a lower place it as it came.\r\nâ€Å"Wow,” I muttered. â€Å"Youd better hurry, Jake. Y oull want to get home before it gets here.”\r\nâ€Å"Im not going home.”\r\nI glared at him, exasperated. â€Å"Youre not camping with us.”\r\nâ€Å"Not technically †as in, sharing your tent or anything. I prefer the storm to the smell. But Im sure your sponger will want to keep in make with the pack for coordination purposes, and so I will graciously provide that service.”\r\nâ€Å"I thought that was Seths job.”\r\nâ€Å"Hell take over tomorrow, during the fight.”\r\nThe reminder silenced me for a second. I stared at him, worry springing up again with sudden fierceness. â€Å"I dont suppose theres any way youd just stay since youre already here?” I suggested. â€Å"If I did beg? Or trade back the lifetime of servitude or something?”\r\nâ€Å"Tempting, but no. Then again, the begging might be interesting to see. You can give it a go if you like.”\r\nâ€Å"Theres really nothing, nothing at all I can say?”\r\n â€Å"Nope. Not unless you can promise me a better fight. Anyway, Sams calling the shots, not me.”\r\nThat reminded me.\r\nâ€Å"Edward told me something the other day . . . about you.”\r\nHe bristled. â€Å"Its probably a lie.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh, really? You arent second in overlook of the pack, then?”\r\nHe blinked, his face going white with surprise. â€Å"Oh. That.”\r\nâ€Å"How come you never told me that?”\r\nâ€Å"Why would I? Its no big thing.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know. Why not? Its interesting. So, how does that work? How did Sam end up as the Alpha, and you as the . . . the Beta?”\r\nJacob chuckled at my invented term. â€Å"Sam was the first, the oldest. It made sense for him to take charge.”\r\nI frowned. â€Å"But shouldnt Jared or capital of Minnesota be second, then? They were the next to change.”\r\nâ€Å"Well . . . its hard to explain,” Jacob said evasively.\r\nâ€Å"Try.”\r\nHe sighed. â₠¬Å"Its more about the lineage, you know? var. of old-fashioned. Why should it matter who your grandpa was, right?”\r\nI remembered something Jacob had told me a long time ago, before either of us had known anything about werewolves.\r\nâ€Å"Didnt you say that Ephraim Black was the last chief the Quileutes had?”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, thats right. Because he was the Alpha. Did you know that, technically, Sams the chief of the whole tribe now?” He laughed. â€Å"Crazy traditions.”\r\nI thought about that for a second, trying to make all the pieces fit. â€Å"But you also said that people listened to your dad more than anyone else on the council, because he was Ephraims grandson?”\r\nâ€Å"What about it?”\r\nâ€Å"Well, if its about the lineage . . . shouldnt you be the chief, then?”\r\nJacob didnt answer me. He stared into the darkening forest, as if he suddenly needed to concentrate on where he was going.\r\nâ€Å"Jake?”\r\nâ€Å"No. Thats Sams job.” He kept his eyes on our pathless course.\r\nâ€Å"Why? His great-granddad was Levi Uley, right? Was Levi an Alpha, too?”\r\nâ€Å"Theres only one Alpha,” he answered automatically.\r\nâ€Å"So what was Levi?”\r\nâ€Å"Sort of a Beta, I guess.” He snorted at my term. â€Å" standardised me.”\r\nâ€Å"That doesnt make sense.”\r\nâ€Å"It doesnt matter.”\r\nâ€Å"I just want to understand.”\r\nJacob finally met my confused gaze, and then sighed. â€Å"Yeah. I was supposed to be the Alpha.”\r\nMy eyebrows pulled together. â€Å"Sam didnt want to step down?”\r\nâ€Å"Hardly. I didnt want to step up.”\r\nâ€Å"Why not?”\r\nHe frowned, uncomfortable with my questions. Well, it was his turn to feel uncomfortable.\r\nâ€Å"I didnt want any of it, Bella. I didnt want anything to change. I didnt want to be some legendary chief. I didnt want to be part of a pack of werewolves, let alone t heir leader. I wouldnt take it when Sam offered.”\r\nI thought about this for a long moment. Jacob didnt interrupt. He stared into the forest again.\r\nâ€Å"But I thought you were happier. That you were alright with this,” I finally whispered.\r\nJacob smiled down at me reassuringly. â€Å"Yeah. Its really not so bad. Exciting sometimes, like with this thing tomorrow. But at first it sort of felt like being drafted into a war you didnt know existed. There was no choice, you know? And it was so final.” He shrugged. â€Å"Anyway, I guess Im glad now. It has to be done, and could I trust someone else to get it right? Its better to make sure myself.”\r\nI stared at him, feeling an unexpected kind of awe for my friend. He was more of a grown-up than Id ever given him credit for. standardized with Billy the other night at the bonfire, there was a majesty here that Id never suspected.\r\nâ€Å" straits Jacob,” I whispered, smiling at the way the words s ounded together.\r\nHe rolled his eyes.\r\nJust then, the wind move more fiercely through the trees around us, and it felt like it was blowing straight off a glacier. The lancinate sound of wood cracking echoed off the mountain. Though the light was vanishing as the grisly cloud covered the sky, I could still see the little white specks that fluttered past us.\r\nJacob stepped up the pace, keeping his eyes on the ground now as he apartment out sprinted. I curled more volitionally against his chest, recoiling from the unwelcome snow.\r\nIt was only minutes later that he dashed around to the lee side of the bumpy peak and we could see the little tent nuzzle up against the sheltering face. More flurries were falling around us, but the wind was too fierce to let them jog anywhere.\r\nâ€Å"Bella!” Edward called out in acute relief. Wed caught him in the middle of pacing back and forth across the little open space.\r\nHe flashed to my side, sort of blurring as he moved so sw iftly. Jacob cringed, and then set me on my feet. Edward ignored his reaction and caught me in a tight hug.\r\nâ€Å"Thank you,” Edward said over my head. His tone was unmistakably sincere. â€Å"That was quicker than I expected, and I truly appreciate it.”\r\nI twisted to see Jacobs response.\r\nJacob merely shrugged, all the friendliness wiped clean from his face. â€Å"Get her inside. This is going to be bad †my hairs standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure?”\r\nâ€Å"I all but welded it to the rock.”\r\nâ€Å"Good.”\r\nJacob looked up at the sky †now black with the storm, sprinkled with the swirling bits of snow. His nostrils flared.\r\nâ€Å"Im going to change,” he said. â€Å"I want to know whats going on back home.”\r\nHe hung his jacket on a low, stubby branch, and walked into the murky forest without a backward glance.\r\n'